The Old New Kyd

Precious Divinity?

2007-05-03T02:15:00.000+08:00

A scary topic, always debatable, feared by many, taboo by some. And to think that this is something almost everyone has - Religion.
Forgive me if i speak unkindly to anyone's belief's. I'm open to comments.

My name is Jarred Nelson Gasper, practicing Catholic since birth. Baptised at the age of 4 months, received my first Holy Communion at age 9, and confirmed myself to be a catholic at the age of 16 thru Confirmation. Sounds interesting enough, what i have is the accepted standards of most Catholics.
Before i continue, i need to make a few things clear here. i do not believe im am superior in divine knowledge, nor do i claim to know so. this is just my point of view. Another point to take is that, i believe in God. and thats just my belief. whether or not there actually is a God, remains to be ignored by me.
Catholics, Christians, Muslims, Buddhist, Hindu... these are quite familiar to all of us. So many religions, so many beliefs. To my humble understanding, God does have a few set rules. Im not talking about the 10 commandments, but its based on that. There's 2 very important rules to follow. Love God, and Love others as u would yourself. So, correct me if im wrong... but doesnt this mean, love everyone? so if i play with the words again... i find that loving God means loving everyone. Am i right to have concluded so?

I believe the world would be a better place if everyone died.

This world is a mess, its corrupted, and there's not a sign of it coming back to its former state. Look around... look around that place we stay in, the madness has crept thru to our very homes, where nothing is sacred anymore. With grandfathers raping grandaughters, and nations going against nations, u not liking me as much i dun like this world. Truth be told, there's no such thing as world peace... I mean, at least, we'll never know what that means. This world is bad, and bad to the bone. With people hating each other for having different skin tones, or having different beliefs, it does seem right to ask, is there a God?

In this modern age of new technology, people are able to be closer than ever, but it seems we've never been more distant from one another. Do u ever feel u dont know the very person u spend most ur day with? Being in a relationship for 3 years, and having to break up because one person is cheating... could someone have seen that coming? Parents file for a divorce after 23 years of marriage... didnt anyone realise it from the begining? Cant stand the sight of your very own roomate... were u too blind to see it from the start? The fact is this... We are the very own cause of our problems. Day by day i open the newspaper, and i cant help losing hope in the human kind. With new jiberish popping out everyday, i can safely say there's no limit to a man's stupidity.

But fear not, for i believe there's still hope. And i do believe hope lies in animals and children...
animals and children...
animals and children...
animals and children...

Thats the hope of our kind? yes... and thats cuz animals and children are nothing like us. Remember a time, when greed never existed, when the only worry was food, and crying helped solve any problem...
I remember crying whenever i accidently lost my balloon, or it accidently popped.
I remember laughing so much everytime someone mentioned the word 'toilet'.
Here's a story to warm the heart:
One day, David saw two little girls crying a lot on a bench in the
park. Thinking they might be hurt, David went over and asked them. "Are you all
right?"
Still crying, one girl showed him her doll and said, "My baby's arm came
off." He took the doll from the girl and soon fixed her arm. "Thank you."
came a whisper.
Next, He asked her friend, "and what's the matter with you, young lady?" She
wiped her cheeks and said,
"I was helping her cry."

its funny, i can totally picture that happening, be it true or not.
But take a look at outselves... we the result of complex evolution, needing to compare ourselves with mere infants. But thats exactly what we need to save ourselves. innocence and love. we need to care without a reason and we need to give without thinking. We do need children...

Back on track, God's simple teaching... love everyone. it something so simple yet highly unattainable. If all religious teaching's are about loving, then God is about love, and performing an act of love is being what God has originally made us to be. I dont think i am holy in any way, i dont think im very religious. But i do think i have a place with God, as I dont hate. If God's only asking us to do that, why is it thats there's no end to the war?

Peace be with ya'll and Godbless...

things i need to keep in mind...

2007-04-16T02:49:00.000+08:00

10. note to self - RAM's are very delicate objects. well, as u have clearly not been seeing, i havent written anything up on this blog for another long gap... wait, this time i have a good excuse... i actually lost my RAM. yep, u heard me, i lost my RAM. need to remind myself to never do that again... well, finally i got myself some new one's so i hope to continue writting... godwillingly...

9. note to self - come back home more often! seriously. not for my own sake, but for those ppl that have to listen to my mothers on-going complaints about how i hardly show my face around subang anymore. having a brother as a housemate that goes back every damn weekend isnt helping me a single bit... "if ur brother can come, why cant u...."

8. note to self again - consider picking up chess or ludo or solitaire as a hobby, something less strenuous on my soul. past few months have been an awful time in my career of being a football fan. its never been a better time to be an anti - arsenal supporter (from now on they'll be known as AAS, ironic rite?) but really, from the highs of yesteryears, these new lows of arsenal is really hard to take in, especially for a person with a weak heart like me. not only that, football in real-life been kicking my ass too. can u believe, after a hard fought group stage, quarter finals we're sent out by the toss of a coin. im sorry, but i never included tossing the coin as part of my training. think i'll take an hour a day, tossing the coin... then maybe i can go further. its like God threw a sucker punch at me, for all those time i saw 20 cents on the floor and was too egoistic to pick it up, now the same 20 cents came and grabbed me in the balls (you do know i was metaphorically speaking rite?)

7. note to self - read the bible again. its either im dumb (dont comment on that) or the bible as been playing a trick on me. im guessing this is still part of God's practical joke on poor little Jarred. if i do remember correctly, Ash wednesday to Easter sunday is supposed to be 40 days, or so it says in the bible, but then, just to make things harder for the average layman... they trick me and extend it a couple of days. 46 to be exact... why? why? why torture my already throbbing tormented fragile heart? ok,ok.. i know its supposed to be religious and all. but can you imagine how dumb i look counting down the days (which i thought was 40) to the wrong date? and im heavily defending it against my [technically] correct friends.

6. SERIOUSLY note to self - never over underestimate the power of a taiwanese sausage. i dont even want to elaborate. it hurts me too much just trying to recollect those painfully memories thats left a deep sorrowful scar on my heart [and ego].

5. note to self - never look a monkey in the eye. NEVER. male ego has tought me many things. male ego is somewhat a natural guideline for all men's questions and answers. men have male ego, women have Cleo. its the same thing. men should face all problems without fear, but thats not the same case when dealing with a monkey. men should stare down ur opponent with a vengence, but thats not the same case with a monkey. men should laugh in the face of danger and let it echo for mountains to hear, but again, thats not the same case when it comes to a monkey. finding trouble with a monkey will make ur dick crawl up thru ur ass to look a tail longer than the monkey's. i repeat, never look a monkey in the eye.

4. note to self - malaysia is a multiracial country. indian guy in a mandrin class with malay people. indian guy in mandrin class. coloured guy in not so coloured classroom. coloured guy with so-so coloured people with no non coloured people. indian guy coloured guy. indian guy. kapish? (now do u see something wrong with this picture?)

3. note to self - find out who is jack daniel and is johnie walker a black man? (another colour comment) there's too much blood in my alcohol system. really, there's been so much liquor flowing thru my body, i just hope most of it doesnt stay in there. i dont care which hole it chooses to come out thru, just as long as it comes out. but the biggest joke is the amount of cash thrown for drinks. if i gathered all that, i could probably invest in some prospersous property in some luxurious setting, just imagine... kiara maybe? du?

2. note to self - really, im not kidding, need to slow down on the drinks. there's nothing there to prove anymore, im not an 18 year old trying his first lambo. its safe to say i've ate salt and am already sick of it. but im quite sure i'll fail. there's way too much comedy involved. there's few things funnier than Chris Rock, but a drunk idiot has to one of them.

1. note to self - dont take people fr granted. on a more serious note, im making a bold statement here, that may life is gonna take a turn for the worse in the next few weeks. and im not only taking bout arsenal. and im already sweating in my pants just worrying about it. i dont see things looking bright in the near future, but i guess its the time to dig deep and persevere. its easy to face a challenge one by one. anyone one can do that, even that dog that survives everyday living by the road. but once it starts raining, and there's no more food, and there's a car heading right for ya... there's little chance for that dog to pull thru. well, i somehow feel, a lot of ppl will be goin thru hard times. its just that time of the year i guess. good luck people. im out! peace be with ya'll.

People people people...

2006-12-14T03:08:00.000+08:00

People people people.... im back, im back, so lets get this blog rolling again... ppl ppl, its been 1 and a half semesters since my last blog... way too much has been goin on in my life... doubt u ppl actually wanna know about it, but i'll update ya'll with a brief run thru...

first's things first.... im staying in mlk... haha, all the worries have gone to rest, as the final word is Jarred's gonna be here for a few more years... Funny how that happened... End of my foundation... with everyone saying their goodbye... for many ppl it was the final goodbye's... even for me... having just torn my ankle ligament, ppl were already signing their names on my leg... a very emotional session... as i was sitting at the mamak... thinking that was gonna be my last iced milo in historical melaka, i got a phone call, a girl, asking if i still wanted to stay in mlk... at last, the chance i've been waiting for... immediately i called my mum and told her i'll b coming home a day late... had to get the paperwork all done... there's a long story to that too, but the moral of that story is, i've been blessed with the chance to continue my studies in melaka.

anyway, the semester break goes on... many idiotic things happen, which is just pure comedy... and then comes the new semester... a new course, with new friends, and a new apartment... just the ingredients for an annoying start to a degree course... that first semester, so many shits happened... in between that mess of shit, the one glimmer of blessing i got was a beautiful beloved girlfriend, whom i have no idea how i found... but im nevertheless grateful for... anyways, there was my birthday too... i thanks all those for the msg's and presents... it really is a heart warming thought, knowing ppl actually think of u too... anyways, then came the exams... so far one of the toughest i've ever sat for... and i had to pay dearly for it... screwed up so badly. im actually gonna have to repeat one paper... how delightful... and with all my bullshit about i can study in mlk, and i still am able to fail a paper... bravo Jarred bravo...

anyways, the following holidays came and went... had such a blast... really really enjoyed with those idiots in subang... i wont be able to forget that trip for a long time... so on comes the new semester, the short semester aka hell... seriously... everything flies by so fast in the short semester... one minute ur saying hi to ur new lecturer, the next thing i realise im facing her midterm tmr... its such a weird feeling... its like i've taken the train by accident, and im scared to jump off, metaphorically speaking of course... well, christmas is around the corner, with glittering balls, annoyingly catchy carols, and mummy's who keep kissing santa clause... christmas is always a time to look forward too... it doesnt matter if ur 5 years old waiting for presents under the tree, or 19 years old, waiting for ur gf to give u a kiss under the misstletoe... im really looking forward to this coming christmas... i wanna go home... i miss subang and the guys there... i better go make this trip worthwhile....

anyways, as usual, im writing this in the wee hours of the morning... so remember, Jarred's back, and in business... thanks for reading, pls do come again soon =) [mid terms tmr la....]

Goodbye melaka....

2006-05-07T05:52:00.000+08:00

oh well.... after trying so long.... looks like im heading out of melaka.... im still hoping one special stroke of luck.... thats gonna keep me here.... but why?

im a town boy... even better, im a subang boy.... subang subang, wat a wonderful place... with summit just a stone throw away, pyramid just along the corner, asia cafe even nearer....
when the forgotten subang parade is just there, and countless makan places open till late, perfect for nocturnal people like me...
when there's a home i really call home.... family and my dearest jackass friends so nearby.... seeing mum, dad, Mary Ann and Joshua so close to me.... when there's the unforgetable chicks so breeding in the nearby college's.... when there's futsal courts just waiting for me to play in....
why do i wanna go away from all that?? =)

haha... such a stupid question.... pls, any other time i would trade subang over melaka without even giving it a second thought... i love subang... then why do i wanna stay here? at first, i thought melaka was weird... with names like RSU, EP, MMU corner only familiar to the student here... and stuff like Satay celup, Pure, and Jonker.... wat a lifestyle... =) i really thought this place was weird... maybe not so much weird, but rather different from subang... damn...

but then again... im a student... reaching my late teen's.... i've got so much potential, so much to live for, so much time to make something of myself.... and i cant lose this oppurtunity.... i cant screw this up... its time to buck up, its time to get serious, it time to be wat i can really be.... enough of excuses, enough of stalling, enough of playing the fool.... time for me to be a man...

my studies are vital to the future i plan to lead... mum always told me, im destined to be great, cuz she doesnt think i can settle for anything less.... and how i wish i could agree with her, cuz only i know that with the amount of talent in me, there's so little of that talent i actually use... i can do so much more.

i really do think i am great, i really do think im special, i really do think im something people have never seen before, and its about time for me to show my parents, my friends, the world... what im really capable of.... i know u might think i must be a lunatic... then ur exactly who i have to prove wrong....

Subang is superb.... there's no better place to enjoy... but i do think, this is not the right time to enjoy.... i have to get serious, and buck up.... fast.... its time for me to grow up. melaka does give me that oppurtunity... it puts me in a place where i feel totally lost =) no joking, melaka teaches me stuff i never knew before, it shows me things i can only dream of if i were in subang. its really out there, you have to take a look at things from a different point of view for it to make sense... then only can you really see wat melaka has to offer.... i might be talking shit here, but i do hope the msg goes thru, one way or another....

oh well.... here's to another sunrise over a mountain im about to view in melaka.... the same sight can also be viewed in subang, but maybe over some buildings instead.... =) thank you for wasting more time on my blog...
peace man....

Wet wet wet...

2006-05-03T04:17:00.000+08:00

wet wet wet.... i know wat u freaks are thinking.... =) u guys are sick...

wet wet wet - love is all around... remember? sound familiar? sweet sweet song... tho so long ago... the tune never ran dry... its still fresh in my mind... but then again, at certain times.... all songs sound nice.... it all depends on the mood.... feeling a little horny? u got Ludacris there.... everything he talks about is bound to make u even more hornier =) haha.... then when ur looking for a song to melt a girls heart, u'd better search for some Richard Marx or Brian McKnight... its sure to put u in the rite mood for love anytime.... "...you're like a dream come true...." and "....its been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since u went away....." kinda funny when u think about it.... it seems like there's always a song for almost any type of situation.... its either that.... or ppl always look for a song to comfort their thoughts....

yeah, its kinda true... like when u've just been playing around.... Michael Bolton says "..... said i loved u but i lied.... " haha.... i really like the song, but when u take the time to ponder, the meaning is kinda twisted .....

There's a card for every kinda event.... no difference when it comes to songs.... there's a song for every event.... if Arsenal win the Champion's League... u'll be hearing me blast Queen's "We are the champions"..... if i fail my exams... this line is gonna stick in my head - ".... i tried so hard... and got so far... but in the end... it doesnt even matter..."
If ur a player.... u should be singing ".... i never really loved u anyway...."
If ur heart broken, and u cant get over it, James Blunt tells u to tell ur lover goodbye....
If ur heart broken. and u've bounced back, Eamon tells u to F*** it, u dont want her back....
If u really love ur girl, get inspired by Jessica Simpson's "I wanna love u forever..."....
If u cant stand ur girl, tell her to "Move B***h, get out the way!"
If u cant seem to get ur relationship to work, John Legend reminds us that we're just "Ordinary People"
If u wanna stand up for ur own, Bon Jovi tell u thats it's ur life!
If u want revenge, follow Justin Timeberlake and make her cry u a river...
If u miss ur Dad, Eric Clapton reminds u of his father's eyes...
If u miss ur Mum, the Spice Girls shows u how to love ur mum...
If u miss ur Kids, there's always Bob Carlisle's "Butterfly Kisses"
If u feel like dancing, Mariah tells u to "Shake it off..."
If u feel like running, get something from Hoobastank "Running Away"
If u know the truth hurts, Mario Winnas tell's u he dont wanna know =)
If u want the truth, "Tell me why.... " - Backstreet Boys...

haiz... so many songs... so much meaning... so little time... =) oh well, they'll be sad songs... to make u cry..... they'll be songs that make u wanna move....
So wat have i learned?
I've learned that im so sick of love songs... but that doesnt mean im gonna stop listening to them.
I've also learned that im in love with a stripper.... and someone is supposed to rock me (We will rock you!).... and lately, i've been told that my hips dont lie....

peace be with u all....

2pac - Changes

2006-04-24T05:24:00.000+08:00

2pac - changes..... this song has to be my all-time favorite.... i heard it so long ago.... but i dont seem to be getting sick of it... =) i think thats a good thing.....

Come on come on
I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself
is life worth living should I blast myself?

we've all had this feeling rite? when we wake up, feeling so sick and tired... thinking 'i dont have it in me to go on....' i know there's an easy way out of life.... should i take it? is it worth it? is it worth putting on a fake face, pretending nothing's wrong.... is it worth trying knowing there's little pont in taking the next step....is it worth acting, showing the world the smile that they want to see, instead of the frown u have behind....

I'm tired of bein' poor & even worse I'm black
my stomach hurts so I'm lookin' for a purse to snatch

there's always an easy way out of problems.... studies problem? just cheat..... money problem? just steal.... love problem? just kill yourself..... you are not alone.... everyone feels the same.... just that not many know that...

Cops give a damn about a negro
pull the trigger kill a nigga he's a hero
Give the crack to the kids who the hell cares
one less hungry mouth on the welfare

this is a racist statement.... 2pac had the balls to say wat he wanted to say, and he doesnt just talk nonsense.... everything here has meaning... ppl who dont understand, may choose to ignore this, but the truth of the matter is, it still exist....

First ship 'em dope & let 'em deal the brothers
give 'em guns step back watch 'em kill each other
It's time to fight back that's what Huey said
2 shots in the dark now Huey's dead

but wats the point in solving racism?? wats the point of helping.... its wriiten in the bible.... God helps those who help themselves.... ppl need to open their eyes sometimes.... who would want to help you, if there's no repentanve in ur actions? even God may look away....

I got love for my brother but we can never go nowhere
unless we share with each other
We gotta start makin' changes
learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers

take a look at it from a different view, take a look at it from a view u never looked before... only then will u see wat u've been missing.... the truth in life is hidden, its not gonna be there rite in front of u.... its not that easy =)

and that's how it's supposed to be
How can the Devil take a brother if he's close to me?
I'd love to go back to when we played as kids
but things changed, and that's the way it is

we were each given a childhood.... look back on it, enjoy the memories, and smile to yourself.... cuz' nothing we face in the future is ever gonna be like that....

Come on come on
That's just the way it is
Things'll never be the same
That's just the way it is
aww yeah

read it... and reflect upon it.... take your time and let it sink in your mind a bit.... then open your heart.... and tell me if anything's changed.... "2pac - Changes" will be continued....

Highbury Rises to the Frechman....!!

2006-04-23T04:21:00.000+08:00

c'mon ppl.... i've done it once, and im gonna do it again... im gonna try to spread the wonders of football to the ppl out there.... wish me luck...

Highbury rises to the frechman...!! haha.... The Almighty Thierry Henry.... a magician..... a living legend... a marvel to watch..... i always wonder, why defend against him.... just let him go, and let him carve another perfect goal.... to stick in the minds of many fanatics out there....everywhere... why try to stop something so beautiful? why prevent something that everyone wants to see.... why stop the artistt, painting his works of perfection? and the hardest question.... why is he 29 years old.... ? it only means there's only another 5 years maximum that we'll be able to be in the presence if his greatness....

will there ever be another Thierry Henry? many claim they've found youngsters with the potential... but then again, will they ever come close to the King?

Thierry Henry is a man... a simple, small town boy.... who grew up, hoping on football to be the source of income.... not only has he managed to do that, he has changed ppl's perception of football entirely.... especially mine. August 14th 1977, when little Henry was born, the world of football was never gonna be the same... how special do u have to be, to be able to make an impact on football... a mark in history... a sweet memory to fans.... ?? this man is special.... in fact, he's way beyond that....

Thierry Henry will never be forgotten.... the world will always remember him, for centuries to come.... he came into football, throwing in a certain, French touch to it.... but then again, not every Frenchman has made such an impact.... im also not sure how to call it... but lets call this his own style.... because, he has added his own style and flavour into football...

Everytime he gets the ball, my hearts beats faster.... knowing.... expecting something i cant expect... just waiting for him to work his magic onto opponents.... each touch of the ball, each run he makes, its so magnificent... watching him is like watching poetry in motion (haha) every goal is so perfect that i dont mind watching it over and over again,

i like everything about him.... i like the way he scored.... its always has this significant Henry class to each goal..... i like the way he takes a shot.... leaving defenders wondering of different ways to stop hm.... i like his temper.... which rarely ever goes overboard.... so matured, so professional.... i like the way he brings his team into the game... just like what a captain is supposed to do.... i like the way he applauds his team mates efforts... there's nothing more assuring than receiving a sign that your effort has been recognised..... i like the way he leads the youngsters in his team.... this is beyond captain-like... this is more like brother-hood.. showing them guidance and examples..... i like the way he shows himself to the public.... he's a footballer.... not a model, not money orientated and not concerned about what the public has got to say... and finally i like his commitment.... he and Arsene Wenger go way back... that it self is a heart warming story... but a bit too long to post here =)

If i were to ever meet God in person, i honestly wouldnt know what to say... in fact, i think i would just stone there, speechless.... same thing applies here. i dont want to meet him, because i think i'd just die on the spot after meeting him.... i just wanna watch him.... playing football.... creating and scoring goals.... that will always be in my memory.... and i'll take those memories to my grave....

Hmmm.... Blogging....

2006-04-22T04:33:00.000+08:00

Wow.... after reading so many ppl's blog... finally im starting my own.... just hope i can be able to update it regularly... even when the whole blog frenzy started, i was like, who wants to read bout another person's life... as it is its so hard to understand one's own life, but ppl manage to find time to read other ppl's =) i thought it was ridiculous... let see how many ppl actually bother finding out wats goin on in my life... now wat have i got to say??

lets start with my day... yesterday nights dragged me all the way to the wee hours of today morning... think i only got some shut eye around 5 in the morn.... my sleep was disturbed by numerous phone calls... half of them i dont actually remember, i do remember gettin one from my mum, bugging me bout which campus am i gonna stay on for next sem.... then in the end she does add that if i do plan to stay in cyber, its ok with her... i think its cuz she's needs some company... i know once my bro leaves for melaka, she's gonna be all alone with my sis there, doubt they'll be seeing my dad very often... oh well, goin home does sound tempting... but im begining to like stuff in melaka.... the question now is do i like it more than subang??

haha.... Subang or Melaka... if u asked me a few months ago... Subang would've won without a doubt... but lately its got me thinking... c'mon, i love subang... i love the ppl there especially, its really a place i call home... i mean, i can go anywhere and know i might bump into someone i know... nothing like how my life in melaka is =) haha, but then again... i am entering a very serious part in my life... its the time where i have to put a lot of effort into my studies... its vital for my own future... subang's a great place to enjoy, with friends like mine, the fun never ends... but then again, my course is definately not gonna be a walk in the park... im gonna have to put in loads of effort... and im so determined and willing to go all out for it... but does that mean, leaving mum all alone? and being away from my friends for 4 years? i know i know, it does sound a little extreme, but to me it seems like that. even when i do go back now and then, i feel quite lost, as in my friends have gone on living without me, although im still remembered, i feel like if im missing longer, i dont think i can keep up with them.... haiz... so wats keeping me in melaka? the first thing would be the enviroment... its such a quiet easy going life... a small town life... not that hectic... (aside from all the uni work)... wat else? the people? haha... yeah, i guess there are some ppl that i wanna keep on seeing here in melaka too.... dunno if i'll have the chance to if i continue staying in subang....

decisions decisions... haha... i wanna see wats it gonna be... guess it doesnt really matter, the choise this time is not for me to make... i'll just wait, taking in the cool melaka night air... looking out onto IPK... smoking my dunhill lights... listening to Mariah.... damn, its 5 in the morning again.... =) is this the life i want? good question....